Talk:Jordan River

Recent edits
I restored the tone of the original second paragraph. To say it is mentioned "in the Bible" and "in the book of Genesis" -- with links to the articles even! -- is redundant. This is the Bible Wiki, so "in the Bible" is a given. I added a link to the passage, so in the "book of Genesis" is also redundant.

Also, changing the subordinate clause "Mentioned..." to "It was mentioned...." was a stylistic step down from the way I write, and not necessary. Though my sentence was in the passive, it used apposition (the part between the dashes) to describe the subject before it came.

Besides, the edit changed two sentences into one long sentence not as well contructed as the ones from which it came. I am going to try not to nitpick too much on other people's grammar, but when my writing is reworded like that, I tend to get a bit edgy.

All in all, I appreciate the hard work of adding the links to articles. I was planning to go back through and do that later, but that is a good thing about collaborative efforts.

SouthWriter (talk) 01:48, January 24, 2016 (UTC)